One of the best things I’ve learned.

We all have habits we need to outgrow. Changes good or bad feel weird because it’s different.

Know that healthier habits at first will feel foreign , uncomfortable, weird, difficult to maintain at first. But when you do anything for long enough you develop momentum. It gets easier.

So, be really honest with yourself about what you want in a relationship longterm. Who you can see yourself build with, even create a family with. Someone you can trust to take care of you when your ill, someone you can trust you can build with, trust to co raise your kids properly.. etc . What are all of your needs? Does this partner match that? If not—- this is the growth part!

Why am I with someone who doesn’t meet my needs, or what needs are they meeting that aren’t healthy for me? Sometimes too much comfort seeking isn’t a good thing. Comfortable dysfunction is comfortable because it’s familiar…

Not to go on a tangent. But just… choose you. If he doesn’t meet your needs, and you’ve tried, and he’s engaging in risky dangerous behavior- free yourself of the responsibility to take care of him. Not your job. Move forward don’t look back. If they catch up they catch up , but no need to turn your head and get exposed to all the tragic burning ships crashing behind.. ships they wrecked themselves.

Distract yourself with other people . Date others. We can get sad because these “new” people aren’t them. But what helps me is to lower the bar. “Im dating  just to date. To learn if I still got it or whatever. I’m not expecting to find the love of my life, but I’m not closed off to it either.”

Much luck