Dear Peggy, I understand what you are trying to say. Believe me, I have the need to run as fast as I can…and as far away as I can from it…while I still can. Part of me knows I’m already too deep…but part of me is not willing to sacrifice my goals and wishes over somebody else…that is something I did in a way once.

But…he really is the only person in my life who looks at me like…I’m some kind of miracle…and acts with complete respect and care for me. That’s pretty big thing for me…and letting that go…just doesn’t feel right. If there is any hope for things to turn out better.

I’m very well aware that the current situation is everything but good for me.

Valora, of course…his situation has some impact on his ability to be intimate with me and that is a real problem. I hope he will figure out a way to fix that.
About their relationship…I know…this could turn out badly at some point. She has a long distance relationship so it’s not serious because they can see each other like once a year. Don’t know why she’s even trying to keep a relationship like that alive. I see she has a bit of a hard time now since she was the one ending their relationship…and loosing his support (which was huge in financial and every other way)…and now seeing he is moving on and happy in something close by…while she has such a complicated long distance relationship.

One thing I’m sure is that he has absolutely no intention in ever getting close with her again (she truly betrayed him and his trust), so that’s something I’m not worried about… but this 13 years…is just not something I would be ready to wait for our relationship to be…public and that we could live together than. If this would be heading in some serious direction.

So…it seams I only have two options…give up on everything…which would make me really sad…or accept the fact it’s a half relationship that can only be like this for a long time. Since I’ve had one similar for a number of years…but still did’t regret it…that is an option. But… I feel I’m too old now to be…spending so much time in a relationship that…honestly has no real future together. Yes, sometimes it can surprise you. But I can’t count on that, can I?