Dear Charly:

One way you interpret why “he wants to break up but will not  leave” is that “he’s seeing the changes I’ve made personally and wants to rebuild” the relationship. It may be so, you don’t know. You do know that you wish this was the reason.

Let’s look at three other possible reasons:

1. “I own the apartment and everything in it”- so he is the one who has to leave, look for an apartment or a living arrangement and buy appliances, furniture and so on. Depending on where you live and his income, it may require more money than he has or more money that he wants to spend. If he stays with you, let’s say, he has more money to pay for entertainment. If he leaves his money will go for rent, and little to no money for entertainment, doing fun things.

2. “He will sleep in my bed.. no intimacy or sex coming from him”- but if intimacy or sex is coming from you, and he receives it and engages in it, then maybe he doesn’t want to lost it, and this is why he “gets moody if (you) ask him to sleep elsewhere”.

3. Maybe he doesn’t really want to break up and move out. Maybe he wants to punish you, that is all he aims for.

What do you think?

anita