PikeMan,

there is no fault in panicking when being blindsided. Ive done it myself and every man will if they have never dealt with these situations.

having your children as your priority will always keep you straight.

as for her text to you, thats heart wrenching to read, as i have read it before myself. She has to deal with this situation on her own, and all you can do is wait and continue to be there for your kids and provide. I wouldnt write this off completely though. Feelings change like the weather and can surely change for the better in this particular situation. I know from experience that ive felt one way before, and felt different a month later as a male, and females can change as well.

if she moves onto relationship, there is no changing that. What women often do is “check out” long before they notify the man, so they grieve on their own before the break up, so when it actually happens, they have gone through the stages already, as opposed to the man who had no idea it was even coming, and will look to struggle for quite some time ahead. Women seem to move on easier as well because of this fact, and i truly believe they follow this exact method. Men seem to deal with much more regret when leaving situations, as they trust their instinct initially, followed by seeing how they feel about their decision afterward.

you cannot feel bad for someone if she did not actively communicate the issues to you in order to save your relationship. By that i mean it should have been voiced many times in a marriage because a marriage is supposed to be a forever bond, for better or worse. If she did make attempts and you did not change, taking her for granted, then you will learn from this. But lack of communication can be often overlooked when you have the amount of responsibilities that he two of you have had for the length of time you have been together.

time will expose the entire situation for what it actually is. I have always followed my gut instinct on these things and have found there is always more to the story. One thing is, if there is a lack of clarity, there is something being left out. If it were straightforward, you may not like what you are being told, but there would be no question as to why it ended. So keep in mind that you may not be totally at fault.

Consider how hard it is to change yourself, and youll understand what little chance you have in changing others.

feel free to ask me questions anytime. Like ive said, ive never been married and dont have kids, but i have been through both sides of some tough break ups, as well as witnessed a handful from ones close to me.