Dear Laika:

“He will basically say ‘Shall we meet’? But then never picks a day and time, or if I ask to meet then he’ll say he might be able to that day,  but then never lets me know”- this is unacceptable behavior on his part, and the fact that his father beat him when he was a child does not change the fact that his behavior is unacceptable.

It is unacceptable to ask you to meet him, or to agree to meet you, and not follow through with picking a day and a time.

“The reason I feel a bit confused is he’ll basically say things like he always looked at me at school etc., but felt he didn’t have a chance since I had a boyfriend at that time”- so you wonder why he is not meeting you now that you are available and he does have a chance, and a good chance.

His reasons: maybe he lacks confidence and is scared that if he meets you, you will reject him. Maybe he has a girlfriend already and is conflicted about meeting another woman. I am guessing, because I don’t know his reasons. What I would do if I was you, would be to tell him that you are frustrated with his behavior (specify it, the first quote in this post). Then tell him that if he doesn’t suggest to meet you in a week, you will figure that he is not interested in meeting you.

Don’t argue. State the above in a calm, casual way and see if he arranges a day and a time to meet you in the coming week. If he doesn’t arrange to meet you, you won’t have to “let this guy go” because he has let himself go. Let me know what happens, will you?

anita