Dear Yarina:

I think that you were quick to criticize this man and point to him being inadequate and faulty, feeling and then expressing to him that he is not good enough.

Problem is neither one of us is perfect, or even close to perfect, and we are not living in a perfect world. Who is that one person who does not carry a baggage from childhood and onward (?!) He took you on dates and insisted on paying- that was very nice. Plus he didn’t pressure you to have sex with him, that is a very good thing, very different from the hookup culture. I would have been thrilled to meet a guy like this, if I was dating.

The fact that he was not romantic or physical, that he was shy and reserved, is not an indication that you are not desirable or worthy, but that he is who he is because of his life experience before he met you.

A month is too soon to expect him to deactivate/not use his dating profile, and for you to do the same, especially when the two of you did not yet share romance and sex.  What I would have done, if I was you, was to continue to communicate and date him while communicating and dating other men, not getting physical with any of the men, for the purpose of getting to know a few men without the distraction of romance and sex, and then,  later choose from the few one man so to proceed toward romance, sex and a long term relationship.

anita