Dear Yarina:

I hope you do have the opportunity to attend quality psychotherapy in the future (not all therapy is of high quality).

As you posted the above, you were feeling good about this man, you were not angry at him. Pay attention, when you feel angry at him again (and you will), don’t express it to him by accusing him of anything, blaming him, trying to hurt him somehow. Control your behavior and calm down some other way (time out, exercise, a hot bath, etc.) Remember what you wrote here: “We are both closed off and maybe we just needed some time to open up”.

– the two of you need more time to open up and better communication. My therapist gave me this handout about good communication. It had the acronym EAR: Empathy, Assertiveness, Respect, as the three hallmarks of good and loving communication between people.

Post again anytime.

anita