Dear blkhwkdwn1:

Because you will not give me a record, I went back to pages 1-13 for a record. According to my calculation you are now 35 and she is 40, her daughters are 21 and 25. So here is what I have from your posts September 18, 2016 to December 14, 2016, exactly three years ago (the quotes are exact except for my capitalizing letters and some punctuation editing, for clarity sake):

By September 2016 (you were 32, she was 37), you knew her 11 years, “mostly co workers.. we never did friend things like hang out or text and stuff”. When you started your thread, she was no longer your co-worker.

When and how the friendship started: In late August 2016, you “told Facebook I was thinking of taking my life. She came out of nowhere and we started texting, meeting up for coffee a few times and (she went with you to) a few doctors appointments to help me”.

This was your position regarding a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship with her, Sept 18, 2016: “I  know I’ll never be anything more than just a friend even though I’ve never asked her and I’ll never ask her because I will never be worthy of her.” (You kept this position throughout over 3 years of friendship, to the present day).

Even though the friendship with her (beyond the work situation of 11 years) was only three weeks old, you already expressed a desire to “let her go” on your very first post, Sept 18: “I feel like I should.. exit her life and move on even though I’ve never met anyone like this”. The day after, Sept 19, you changed your mind: “Maybe I’ll hold off calling off the friendship”.

The first time you complained about not enough contact with her was three weeks into the friendship,  Sept 19: “We used to text each other every day, now it’s once a week so maybe.. there really is no friendship”.

Your first break, aka disappearance was on that day, Sept 19, 2016: “I’m taking a break from that girl.. I texted her I won’t be around for a while”. You texted her that, and added “hope we can still be friends when I get back. If not then it’s been real, thanks for the awesome 3 weeks we were friends. It’s been some of my best memories”. Later, still Sept 19, you wrote: “I’ve disappeared from social media since last night, deactivated my Facebook”.

Two days later, Sept 21, you “saw her today at work as she was doing some shopping, we talked a little and gave each other a huge hug”. The day after, Sept 22, you talked about disappearing again: “I’ve decided to take a break from her.. hopefully when we meet up again, I’ll be a changed man”. The day after, Sept 23: “She was at my work again, we hugged again”. Sept 26: “Today she messages me 4 times on  my phone. So I decided to visit her at her work for 2 hours and we talked… She wants to meet up for coffee a week or 2 after and chat. So much for the long break I was wanting lol”. She also told you to “please keep her posted”, and that she wants you “to come by her work again and eat there”.

Sept 30, you complained: “She only gives me short 1 liners now in texts.. Our communication is pretty much dying… It went from texting me 2 times a day.. then it was once a day, then it went once every few days, now it’s once a week”.

Oct 15, another disappearing act: “deleting everyone off my Facebook (she was one of them too) and deactivated it”, telling her, “I won’t be going for coffee with her today, and that I will text her sometime later but not sure when”. But three days later, Oct 18, the two of you were texting. (At the time her sister was about to give birth). Oct 30 you met her: “she picked me up and we got gas, then picked up her daughter and had some laughs.. She showed me around her home.. Drove to a pub and had a drink, some food and a nice talk… then she drove me home. It was about 3 hours total. The next day I came to her work .. we ate there and talked and had some laughs”.

Nov 6 you wrote: “A few days ago I went to her work again.. gave her a CD as a present.. ate there for 2 hours talking with her when she was not busy with customers. Last night I went to the night club.. with 4 others from work and her.. got hammered.. We got to her car and we hugged again and told her to drive home safe.. It was a great night!”. Nov 12 you were worried that she was angry at you during that club event six days before. You texted her: “Normally we text throughout the week since we started texting months ago, and I had a weird feeling you were not happy with me”. Her response: “Not at all!!! Just been working a lot.. Had a lot of fun with you guys”. You texted: “Alright cool, so we good? I like texting you”, and she responded: “It’s all good buddy.. talk soon”.

Nov 14, a long texting session with her. You texted her at one point: “got almost blacked out drunk watching UFC”, and she responded: “Best thing would be to take the meds and not drink at all Pat”. Nov 19 you complained: “she never texts me first anymore like she did all Sept and early October.

Nov 23: You wrote: “She actually text me and said we should have a coffee soon. ‘Hey pat how are you?? …Let’s have coffee soon'”.

Nov 24, you wrote: “Nothing will make me happier then to text a lot like we used to, and hang out often…but she’s too busy. Nov 28 you saw her at work for a few minutes and hugged. Nov 29, you mailed her the Christmas mug gift her the mug gift. Dec 2, you were upset: “it’s been over a week since she’s text me! This is officially now the longest she’s gone not texting me since we started texting”. You wrote on that day: “Most of the coffees and the Dinner has been all her though, I’ve only asked her for coffee 1 time, that was.. early Sept”.

Dec 3, you texted her: “I was just curious if you don’t like to text first. Don’t think I’ve seen a text out of the blue from you since September. She answered: “Yeah I just don’t text much… work too much, nothing personal…I talk to you more then anyone else at your work.. It’s hard to talk much over text.” You texted: “Really? ..I love texting. I can text all day, all night”. Dec 7, you texted her that you need to reschedule a coffee date  because you were sick. Dec 14, right after a coffee date with her, you wrote to me: “It was not the greatest.. We had a coffee and talked about her daughters dancing, my depression, yoga, meditation, etc… There was A LOT of times I was not talking, I just had nothing to say. It was short, only an hour and a half… She also says she’s not sure if I knew but she’s trying slowly to push herself away to not get into this so much with me, and that I need to be working on myself on my own and to text her every now and then to say hey”.

You are welcome to let me know what you think about this back-in-time post. I wonder if something came up for you, maybe some new understanding.

anita