Dear Lovejonesss:

When your mother told you that she will bring your lunch to school, and she didn’t, again and again, many times, you tried at one point on, to not care, to not expect her to bring your lunch. She broke her word to you and she lied to you many times and didn’t apologize, didn’t correct, kept doing it.

There were also many fights between your parents, often it was daily. She cheated on him, he took you and your brother in his car, drove to her lover’s house, followed her, all that was scary for you.

Hurt and scared, you naturally closed off to her, you shut down trusting others best you can, so it doesn’t hurt as much when people do to you what your  mother did to you: break their word, their promises, lie to you and never correct.

You were very angry at your mother and many times, as an older child, a teenager perhaps,  you expressed it somewhat, but a lot of the time, you held a lot of it in, pushing it down. Hiding your anger, hiding your hopes, your dreams.. living in the surface of things best you can. No one wants to go deep within themselves when there is pain deep inside.

Does this make sense to you?

anita