Dear anita,

I have calmed down significantly. My sister helped me through it. I was close to cutting my wrists. It was a very close call. I don’t know what got me! It was psychotic almost.

All these months I was so sober. Yes with a few exceptions, but mild things AND in fact, I was about to update all of you of my “great” progress. I’m a complete fool.

Yes it’s the anniversary of our past relationship. All day, nobody remembered me, to send holiday greetings and such. I felt so alone. And then IT HIT ME soooo strong… For one year I am sexless (sorry for the tmi here), without a companion and lately, all my “friends” vanished. I feel lost. And all those “what ifs” with him drive me insane. I did a facebook search on him, I haven’t done this since – i don’t even remember. I found out that on a day we were together he went on a friends gathering (as always) without me and did not even tell me, on a Saturday actually.

Anita, I’m scrambled eggs, my brain… Sorry ??