Dear Peggy,

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.

It is true maybe, Christmas and generally, all holidays and gatherings are too much to bear, especially for lonely, emotional and sensitive people. I wish I could love myself more, or better at least. I`m better 2 days straight now.

You said it right, it takes two people in relationship to make it fail or work out. Ive been blaming myself, caring the cross alone for too long. Living with the unbearable "what-ifs", perception of mistakes and failures, hung by the hook for societal norms, childhood traumas and a particular obscure fixation for inner drama. Let him have all the blame. I cant worry anymore on being fair to him and looking at my mistakes. Hell, its been too long and too painful. If it makes me a bad person or a b*tch or a sinner, Im ready for all of it. It takes my pain away, I`ll gladly do it for now on.

I wish you the merriest of Holidays and an fruitful new year. Namaste.