Dear noname:

You are welcome.

“I’m so lost and confused right now, don’t know where to go to find what I need”

When a child doesn’t feel loved or safe for years of chidhood, the child becomes desperate, and that desperation continues into adulthood. This desperation is too great to be satisfied. “nothing is ever what I need” because your desperation to be loved and feel safe is too great, an order too tall to fill.

It is  not that love is too difficult to find, it is that desperation is impossible to satisfy.

anita