I could not do it AGAIN! >:(

Short call  (15 min), she was doing work with her guy. Told her before we got off the phone that if the darkness takes over that I hope her light shines so bright and leads her in the right direction and that years ago she was my light in my darkness and a reason for me to keep going when I was going through my dark time and that I hope she follows her happiness wherever it leads her and to not let anyone change who you are, not family/boyfriend/friends/strangers and I hope she has an amazing life journey and hope her and the guy are always there for eachother getting through everything together and to keep growing as a person and never stop and to always be successful in everything she does and of course to be free. Also that I wish her the best.

She kept saying “thank you” and was fighting back the tears you can tell and that we need a much longer call soon, that she did not like how short the call was. She’s gone to her family next week for a full week, then off to Florida to visit her boyfriends family for a few weeks and told me to call in Feb and she will tell me all about it. She said I am “such a  good friend” and that she also feels bad she rarely sees me or talks to me, same with her daughters.  But she’s doing her own thing now she told me and she’s happy she’s been losing her ex boyfriend and his crazy sister from her life and moving on. Also told me “you’ve been paying attention” when I told her how many days a week she works in her city.  She also said “what you told me I also wish all that for you too, I really want you to be happy too”.

But the thing is…I FAILED!!!! AGAIN!!! I’ll never get rid of her so I can be free, i’ll always be tormented.