Thanks Anita, really appreciate the time and sorry for the overwhelming detail. I want to be fair and not leave anything out.
Your summary is accurate, the only thing that’s not is that my mother no longer is staying with me. She moved back to her rented flat and is doing well, trying to support me where she can.

My husband is in the UK and I moved back to “our home”. So everyone is alone now. I guess I focused on the topics raised as “an issue and source of his complaints, not really what is important to me. We do have very poor communication, I find him aggressive, competitive and often not empathetic, so I go with the way of least resistance. I don’t know why I do that, I’m certainly not afraid to voice my opinion but with him I just know it’s gonna come back in some shape or form either immediately or when I least expect it.

I don’t think money is what held us together, it’s not really important to me at all. It’s true however that he got very upset by it and I wanted to explain.

I find it hard to be emotionally close to him. I have disclosed a few things to him in the past that were very private and he used them against me and also mentioned them to people (in front of me or not), not in a sly way but I find it just careless.
I know that what you say is true. I feel like he has never been there for me really. I don’t think I’m angry about it but most certainly it changes my behaviour towards him and then it’s a vicious circle. I think he’s a person that takes a lot and whilst I am a giver, I don’t think it’s right to behave like that and will never accept it. But he certainly doesn’t see anything wrong with his behaviour, it all just always turns against me (I’m demanding, I criticize him etc). I also don’t know why I always question myself first even if I kinda know that whilst I’m not perfect, his attitude is wrong.

thanks for your view Anita.