Hi Sarah!

My first thought was “This doesn’t sound like ‘crazy’ behaviour”. Insecure, yes. Crazy, no. I don’t know too many people who don’t feel at least some level of insecurity in the beginning stages of being with someone they like. I have had the same questions in my head so many times in relationships, but never vocalize them. Is playing it cool better? That’s debatable.

You say he was a close friend before you got together, so presumably he knows you, and knows how you would act in relationships. Unless you did a total 180 after you got with him, he shouldn’t be surprised.

That said, no one likes an insecure partner. But I sort of feel like if he had really felt like it was something he wanted to pursue, those nagging questions wouldn’t have put him off.

Give yourself and him some space. Don’t contact him (as hard as it may be). Let him remember the reason why he wanted to be with you in the first place. If he does come around, you need to ask yourself if you really want to be with someone who you feel so insecure with. Rather, with someone who responds the way he did to your insecurities. Because won’t that just make you more insecure?

When I was younger, I was desperately insecure in most of my relationships. Looking back on the guys I was dating, I would say “no wonder I was!”. Not that this is all on him…

I hope you feel better soon. We always have no idea how we can move on after a painful break up, but we do. And we grow, and become more aware of what we want and don’t want and what we will put up with or not. As hard as it is, use this time for some introspection. Take care of yourself!

Last thing: I also agree with whoever in the above responses said that imagining the end of your relaitonship before it’s even over, will most likely bring what you are visualizing.