Hi there Honey,

First I would just like to say that I certainly understand how you feel to, at least, a certain extent. I’ve dealt with my own depression now for about 4 years- it got worse at first but now I can thankfully say I am better now. I hope you have a support system you can turn to. Please take what I say with a grain of salt- these are just of the things that have helped me and hopefully can help you.

Everyone on this planet probably ponders what the meaning of their life is. Nothing is promised and things are in a constant state of flux, but that doesn’t mean you have to be afraid of life. Your life does have meaning even if you can’t really see that or come up with a good reason now.

1) Acceptance

I’m 21 and still learning how to be okay. Life can be boring and repetitive sometimes, I can totally agree. Things change and life can be very different 6 months or year from now. Your life and who you are will not always be this way right now. I advise to not fight what you feel or try to stuff it down. This will create resistance in your mental and probably lead to feeling more exhausted. I did this and almost came close to a mental breakdown a few times. It’s okay not be okay sometimes. Don’t fake it. Be gentle with yourself and especially don’t be hard on yourself for not being able to do this and that. Depression takes a lot out of a person and you have limited energy most of the time. Go to school and delve into your hobbies when you can. Please remind yourself you’re doing to best you can, we all are!

2) Exercise and meditation

Since you said you like mediation, I would recommend trying to do that at least for 5 minutes a day. Something small and then you can build for longer if you want. I understand that everything can seem so unbalanced and overwhelming. The chaos in your head can seem unbearable. This is where you can hopefully have some peace for a few minutes. Just something small for yourself to do so you can overtime feel even a little bit more balanced. I meditate right before I go to sleep and sometimes in the morning when I have time.

Exercise is one of the things that has helped me the most. I know its the farthest thing from our minds sometimes when we feel we have below zero energy but I promise this help 1) create endorphins and 2) move your body so you’re not still all the time. Exercise over time creates more energy and endurance and elevates your mood. Idk if you experience brain fog or the feeling like you can’t wake up, I know I did. I found that the more I took care of myself top-down (working out for body) it improved the top-up (my brain and how it regulated my moods).  Now I exercise regularly cause I have to, to me it’s akin to a meditation I need.

3) Therapy

This one’s kinda obvious but if you can I would invest in therapy. At your school maybe or elsewhere if you can afford it. There are also sliding scale therapy so you can do so without the high cost and it fits your budget if money is a concern. There is no shame in seeking help when you’re struggling. If you can’t talk about things with a friend or family member without their being judgement- speaking to someone that is a third party not familiar with you is incredibly helpful. It can be scary but the things we push ourselves to do cause us the most fear are what changes our life. I went to group therapy and continue to still do individual therapy.

4) Talk to your friends or any support network you have

Talking with family was not always an option for me so I met people who became my friend through therapy and also people I knew always that I could really trust with my most personal thoughts and struggles. Pushing people away (if you do, I did) is not good and will lead to isolation which can make you feel even more alone. You are never alone. You’re gonna need support during this time and you need people for that. I learned the hard way.  You always have this site to talk to people as well. I learned the hard way.

I go to school and work full-time so I just do what I know works for me and always make time to be kind to myself whether that’s working out, reading, writing, music, or my new hobby- photography :). Life can be stressful and there are obligations that we all need to attend to but take one step at a time doing it. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t expect to have the mental strength to progress in life in any aspect.  You’re only human and we all go through the highs and lows of life. You’re still really young- problems and life and seem really monumental, but things do get better. <3

I am sorry for such a long post but I hope. Just start where ever you want to start.  Really cliche but true: you can’t do the same thing over again and expect a different outcome.