I think I missed out on having a fulfilling childhood. Most people, if you asked them, would say that they wished they could go back and I don’t. Where I am right now is so much better than where I ever was.

I feel like I missed out on sports and engaging with others as a child. My mom would put on VHS tapes for me and my sister and when one movie would end she would put in another. So I was always sheltered. I did go to public school which did expose me to other people, but I didn’t get a push from my parents. I wanted my parents to show me what it meant to be a woman, or show me how I should carry myself but they weren’t able to do that for any of my siblings. I was literally raised by the TV and had to raise myself in a way. I remember them fighting and when I was vocal about how I felt I was punished, so being in front of a tv, not engaging with others felt safe for me then.

I love my parents, they are my #1’s and I feel like we have grown together because they aren’t so much like the people they once were. But when I think too long about childhood experiences I just go back to my bedroom and I wonder if I would have made the choice to be a gymnast would things have been a little different.