@michelle yes that article resonated when me too. Great content. Sometimes you need a dose of reality and straight talking! Otherwise if I let my feelings consume me I would continue spiralling like I was deeper into feeling unworthy and despair. It’s almost like the devil vs angel battle on a constant basis. My emotions creep in whispering “you will not find the same love. Any new guy will not match, new guy will leave you too so don’t let him in etc etc slowly wearing me down ” but I have had to literally shout out aloud or chant on my runs “I am going to love it will be a new kind, and if I believe it even better. I will not let myself be defeated. I will be happy etc” so f u stupid voices. The new guy and I are taking it very slow. I don’t feel pressured to be more than I can be for him right now and he has been a breath of fresh air. I now have new hope that with time I can create something special with him. It’s not easy but he is incredibly patient. I always try to focus on his dreams etc so it’s not all about me. Fingers crossed.

@shelby I get it I really do, some days I’m so tired of this world because I feel like I have had the best and I cant possibly get what I want. It is these thoughts that have drained me though so now I’m trying to change that I’m making a huge push towards a more positive attitude to life. In stead of dwelling on what can’t be changed and has passed.

It doesn’t sound like you are ready for a relationship because you are comparing and trust me as long as you do that no one will ever match up because no one will be a clone of your ex. Tbh is your ex even worth the comparisons? Everyone that has eventually moved on would say what the fuck was i thinking?!. Exes will always carry a special place in your heart forever but you need to realise on your own accord that being with your ex was not right or else you would not be where you are now. You said you didn’t feel anger I think you did I read all this thread when I was at my lowest at xmas. Your ex said he would resent you if you tried again. Your self respect kicked in and you were done. That feeling of someone resenting you after all you have done for them and loved is a sickening feeling it carried you into putting yourself out there doing stuff for yourself. What set you back was the texts which is a shame because you are your own enemy. Had you deleted and blocked you ex no. And social media you would not have gone backwards. You might gave found yourself in my position. Not fully ready to jump in to a serious relationship but taking baby steps and risk to create a new adventure with someone new..

I suggest you make a list of all the flaws your ex actually had which there will be plenty for you to have not worked out. Instead of seeing him with rose tinted glasses, write down how the person you loved made you feel at each break up. How the comment of resentment made you feel. This will make any self respecting being pull themselves out of putting their ex on pedestal. I guarantee you will have done more, loved harder bent over backwards so when that scale starts tipping by now you should be saying I DESERVE BETTER. I AM GOING TO GET BETTER. I WILL NOT LET one persons lack of reciprocated love define my entire life!

like Michelle said be wary of where your choices are taking you in life and what you may regret trying or missing with someone new. If this had been a new fresh break up then sympathy and molly coddling is often needed but chick theres a huge world out there for you to explore. New adventure to be had!

What happened with your close friend? Did you cut contact? If so that’s sad you could have gone on adventure with him. Book a mini break even if you don’t have funds do something local after your project ends have fun. Snap yourself out this funk!