Dear RedMap:

Thank you  for your appreciation.

You wrote that he feels that “relationships are based on ‘irrational passions, lies and seduction'”, and that he told you “that he is worried honesty, openness and thoughtfulness will never work”-

– you pointed to this as the negative regarding being in a relationship with him.

He is worried that honesty in a relationship will never work. This means that for him, honesty is a negative quality that will lead to relationship failure. He believes the same about openness and thoughtfulness.

So, in his mind, honesty, openness and thoughtfulness are negative qualities, and dishonesty, being secretive and thoughtless, or selfish are positive qualities.

Am I understanding correctly?

anita