Dear E.Bugs:

“She started off saying it’s not because she doesn’t love me..”- she told you what the breakup is not about, not what it is about.

“She said she is just so overwhelmed with what’s going”- she didn’t tell you why your presence in her life as a boyfriend didn’t reduce her overwhelm; why your presence is increasing the overwhelm factor in her life, instead of reducing it.

She may have good reasons for breaking up with you, but she didn’t tell you what those reasons are.

Can you ask her, saying something like this: I need to know, and I will really appreciate knowing why you broke up with me, specifically, what is it that I said and did- or didn’t say and do- that motivated you to break up with me, not in generalities, not vaguely, but specifically?

anita