So, as of the 4th of January my girlfriend of 3 years and I are not together. The usual heart broken and the like that follows however, I’m not sure what to think about the “breakup”. Things were fine with no red flags of a break up or unhappiness, I have been broken up with before and have also done breaking up and am usually fairly well aware of the signs of an impending slipt up. we exchanged gifts just before Christmas (she was fretting what to get me in mid November) and everything was normal as it could be. Laughed, hung out, went to dinners, kissed with no awkwardness and said I love you to eachother.

We met on the 4th to talk (was going to tell her of a surprise I had planned for us) and we broke up. She started off saying it’s not because she doesn’t love me because she does and that there was no one else or that she had someone lined up “waiting in the wings”. She’s a fulltime college student, plays college basketball, was working (with me at the same place) and has family troubles going on. She said she is just so overwhelmed with what’s going on that she can’t feel like a good girlfriend and give me the time she feels she should be giving me. I understand she’s busy, told her it’s life and it’s tough but “how can I miss you when you’re never gone?” To me time apart can be a good thing because it makes seeing eachother all the more better and special. She also said she feels she’s holding me back in life, there’s a 6 year age difference and think’s I want to settle down in the next few years and she’s not ready for that which I told her she’s worth waiting for. I am also in school with my first year and would like to have my career going first before getting married let alone having kids. I’ve had plenty of relationships but she’s the only one I’ve seen being with in that way, she truly is ” the one”.

The only real troubles were at work where we would bicker or snap at one another but would quickly admit fault, apologize and move forward. Being a guy and not the best with my words at time I’d put my foot in my mouth or say something that would come out completely wrong or not how it was intended to sound and would rectify it as soon as I could to her.

Here is where my confusions start.
I also asked if we are done and through with and there’s no chance. “Wearen’t done, this isn’t done, I want to be in your life still even if it’s as friends, I’m not abandoning you”, “we can still go camping this summer like we planned” I eventually said fine after trying to find a compromise to breaking up and broke down in front of her. She hugged me for 5 minutes and she was crying the whole time or choking back tears while talking. From her background, she HATES crying in front of others due to an alcoholic father who was mentally and emotionally abusive. In 4 years of knowing her she’s cried 3 times in front of me. We are still on eachothers social media accounts but arent commenting on anything but both mutually are looking at posts and “stories”. A friend from work asked if we were done and she didn’t answer the question, she avoided it but did express she is nervous about the thought of talking to me. Since the time we broke up though, it’s been a tidal wave of life. I quit where we both worked at due to stress of the job and being burnt out, my Aunt unfortunately passing and dealing with the breakup. As of this last Monday she returned only my clothes from her apartment and none of the clothes or band shirts I bought her from concerts we’ve gone to together and hasn’t  returned the necklaces or other gifts from christmas or birthday. She has been ignoring my texts, messages or calls since the 12th of last month and have no idea what’s going on with that. Quitting work, wishing her a happy birthday on the 26th, my aunt passing, it’s just been a ghost town in the old inbox. Maybe she is mad at me? Her friend wasnt my biggest fan towards the end of things and is VERY possessive of my ex and could maybe be feeding her stories since we worked together? Is she just needing space and time to clear her head? Does she feel terrible and just doesnt know what to say or how to fix this? Was it an impulse break up and she realizes it?

I know this is a book of a first post, but I truly love this girl more than anything short of my family and has been tearing me apart just trying to figure things out, when I know it’s not possible since I’m not in her head.i just I guess am asking if anyone here thinks that this is just a temporary situation and things will eventually return to a happy normal life for us together or if it’s the end of one of the best things to ever enter my life.

• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.
• This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.