Dear Gaia:

I will restate what I stated yesterday: I will not repeat what I already took hours posting to you before, insights you agreed with, insights I believe are true. You can re-read them anytime by going back to previous pages (you can also copy and paste parts or all of our communication into a word document for you to have). There is no more insight into your childhood that I have to share. I shared it all.

Regarding your second paragraph: your emotional troubles escalated in school, but did not originate in school. As emotionally troubled individuals proceed in life, enter new circumstances (school, new apartment, new roommates, new job, new people.. even a new country and a new decade), often, more and  more dysfunction and discontent is added, but the origin of the trouble is still in childhood. Therefore, for as long as you ignore, deny, see but then un-see what happened in your childhood, no analysis on my part regarding your troubles in school will be useful.

If you have any questions for me regarding my previous posts to you, or otherwise, always feel free to ask. Otherwise, my only input to you from now on will be the following: I will mirror to you what you share, so that you know that I read what you shared and am able to repeat it. This will give you the opportunity to vent anytime you want, to express yourself in typing, knowing someone is reading your words and can repeat them to you.

Here is my mirroring of your most recent post (if any of my mirroring here, or in the future doesn’t agree with you, let me know): a high school friend of yours tried to assure you that a certain crush liked you back, but she was misguided, he didn’t like you back and had a girlfriend at the time. Your brain often engages in angry scenarios. It hurts you very much to feel rejected, to feel like an outcast. You feel that indeed you were rejected all though elementary school, higher schools and to this very day. When you aren’t fully rejected, you are not loved or valued either, but merely tolerated.

You hate being tolerated. You hate being rejected. You hate being an outcast. You want to be valued. You want to be wanted and loved!

anita