Dear Javairia:

I wouldn’t worry at all about replying to threads, if I was you. It was a suggestion I made that may have been right for that time, when I made it, but it is not right for this time. You are distressed, you have things to do, tests- it is a bad idea for you to add to your plate yet another task, another source of distress.

“I just want to feel safe and cared for”- it is such a wonderful feeling when that happens, for a child, being cared for and feeling safe.

“Sorry I feel this way”- no apologies for how you feel are required. It is not that you choose to not feel safe and cared for (no one would choose such a thing). You feel this way because in real life you are not cared for and you have not been made to feel safe by your parents. Nothing for you to  apologize for, and everything for your parents to apologize for.

A child/ teenager needs a parent who cares and gives them reasonable freedom, not one or the other.

You asked me if there is something that is stressing me. Well, this morning I spilled a cocoa drink on important papers, that distressed me. Yesterday as I heard the not good news about the Coronavirus expanding problem- that distressed me. There were other things too.

“What helps you calm down?”- my 3.5 mile daily walk outside,  in the fresh cold air. That’s my #1 method of calming down, I highly recommend it. Keeping a daily routine is also helpful, so you learn to rely on yourself for accomplishing certain tasks every day no matter how you feel. Everyone needs some entertainment, such as music, comedy shows, and some socialization from time to time.

I wonder what financial stress you are experiencing, being a teenager (?)

anita