Dear MonaD:

So if I understand correctly, his parents don’t live in the same area where his brother lives, and therefore he is not currently in daily or frequent contact with them.

Regarding the rest of your post, his original statement was: “No one owes anyone anything in a relationship. One person can leave the other for any reason or none at all”. More recently he told you: “In no relationship does any one person owe the other anything. You have to remember that”.

He didn’t state or suggest that a person should be able to leave a relationship when it is a bad relationship. Instead, he stated that anyone can leave any relationship “for any reason or none at all“-

He suggests then, that  it is okay, or  ethical, for a person to leave any relationship for any reason or no reason at all.

So, in this man’s mind and heart, a parent doesn’t owe a minor child anything (food, shelter, affection) and can leave the child anytime, for any reason, or for no reason at all. A husband doesn’t owe his wife anything (help with the rent, groceries, affection), and can leave at any time. (Why are you leaving me?? a wife asks, No reason, he answers and walks out the door), an employer doesn’t owe his employee a paycheck, a landlord doesn’t owe his tenant running water, a doctor doesn’t owe his patient any treatment, and so  on and on.

He then told you: “If you ever try to enter another relationship and it turns out to be bad or it keeps you from doing what you need to, then you have to realize you can end it”-

– to be consistent with what he said right  before, his latter statement should read like this: if you ever try to enter another relationship .. end it anytime. You don’t need a reason.

— if you have a record of his previous writing to you where he was that affectionate, decent, open and loving person you say he was, you are welcome to copy and paste parts of it here, if you want my input on the discrepancy between who you thought he was and who he is.

Otherwise, my goodness! What could possibly motivate you to waste any more time and energy on this … cold,  heartless man?

anita