Dear Lily:

“clearly I have improved compared to one year ago!”- absolutely, and it is good to witness such significant improvement.

Regarding the recent happening at work: a new colleague A looked for colleague B. She wasn’t there so A told you to “tell her to call him when she comes back”. You agreed to do that, so you were responsible to tell her to call him when she was back. You then did just that, you told B that A asked that she calls him back.

That’s it, that’s all that you needed to do to be responsible. It was not your responsibility to make sure that she calls him, or to see to it that whatever A needed to talk about with B was talked about and resolved.

When you told B to call A, she said: “Him? But I just saw him”. This means that B heard you and therefore you fulfilled your responsibility to deliver the message to her.

Your distress here is because of your over-responsibility core belief. Ask yourself on occasions like this one: what is specifically my responsibility and what is not my responsibility? Did I fulfil my responsibility?

anita