Dear Basil:

You are welcome. It is a good thing that you encouraged him “to take a stand for himself”. So he did and his mother punished him for doing the right thing for himself. And now, he is stuck in between lives: in between the “Mumma’s boy“-‘s life and a mature man‘s life.

I am guessing, that he is stuck, angry, in this in-between: on one hand he wants his mother’s love (which would mean doing what she wants him to do, which is to break up with you), and on the other hand he is angry at her for demanding such a high price for her love (obedience where she has no business demanding that).

In this in-between situation he is not breaking up with you and he is not talking with his mother. Problem is that he is directing his anger at you, the one who tried to help him become an mature man. And so, he is not breaking up with you but he is breaking you with his expressed anger at you.

It is not your fault that his mother is controlling, that he is therefore overly attached to her, and that as a result, he is in-between. There is nothing for you to do because it is not in your power to undo his strong attachment to his mother. It is in your power though to leave this unhealthy for you (staying in it, by the way, is not helping him either, does it).

anita