Dear Stepan Pavlas:

You are very welcome. I don’t think I ever communicated with a member from the Czech Republic, exciting for me.

You sure display a positive attitude about your scoliosis, and that’s quite admirable.

Regarding your depression, will you tell me next about your history with your mother, with your father, and your current relationships with them?

I ask because I believe that most of us are not born depressed, or not born destined to be depressed. I believe that our early childhood experience (first decade of life or so) is very powerful in bringing about anxiety and depression. From my personal experience, having been diagnosed with major depression, depression is the result of the brain/ body being too anxious for too long and then exhausted, it collapses into what you described as “melancholy.. empty.. missing something.. lost something.. a body trying to survive, but the mind with the mind that wants to die”.

Every once in a while life returns to the mind, but so does anxiety, and too soon anxiety robs us from that life and we return to that feeling of death: “Sometimes I am really happy.. but .. depression will slap you back to reality”.

anita