Thanks for the advice Genie, letting go seems to be my biggest impediment and has been for some time. On a positive note, I’m going to see my therapist this afternoon, so hopefully it will help clarify things a little for more, at the very least in terms of career direction. The one thing I realise from this thread is that we are all self aware to an extent and are intent on improving ourselves and our happiness so that’s a lot more than most I guess so well done us! In some ways!

Adelaide, you’re a very perceptive person it seems and wish I had half the amount of ‘cop on’ (common sense) you have! The amount of insight you post on this thread regularly is incredible, so astute. You recognise a lot and I suppose you’re right…it’s about making good decisions based on that insight. Look, everyone loves an ego boost or a dopamine hit, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t so don’t beat yourself up about indulging in that, but you know it’s shortlived and you want long term sustainable happiness and intimacy. To be honest, I’m fairly confident that if you continue along the train of thought you currently have, your life and connections are going to improve exponentially. You have a lot of the answers already to questions that may arise. Know your worth…I can see it, Genie, Michelle…..everyone on here sees you’re someone worth knowing…so make sure the people you let in to your life understand that too.

My new friend makes me feel like the ground I walk on is golden. Like, some days I actually feel bad that he has such a high opinion of me. I feel undeserving and a little bit sneaky that he is totally misguided about me. And then I try to flip it, I try to imagine that I AM the person he thinks I am. It’s just I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I’m not good enough, I came to believe that as truth. But I’m being totally myself with my friend, like totally….warts and all…sillyness and neediness and anxiety and crankiness at times and yet, he still thinks I’m one of the world’s best humans! I mean…..it’s kind of incredible. But I’m trying to accept it more!

I’m hoping therapy will help give me direction in terms of work. I honestly don’t feel I could let down the makeup company which has just taken me on and invested a lot in me already. Plus I feel if I did leave it now, that would shut down any prospects in that line of work for the future and basically end my experiment of trying a new career in this field before I even really gave it a good go. The other job would be a step up from my previous role and would look good on paper…..and to society I guess….and it would be an opportunity to meet new people….however I’m not a fan of the city where it’s based and it would be incredibly expensive to live there and the job itself would be very stressful. But ego plays a part and I’m not sure I want to dismiss the prospect entirely.

Anyway, you two seem to be doing so well in terms of your determination. Genuinely, Genie you are adamant of setting the intent for your future which is so admirable. Adelaide, each time you wonder about something, as “if I truly loved myself, what would I do?” and respond accordingly. Sometimes I find that helps.

Keep well all x