Dear Nath:

You shared that you met a woman six months ago, about Sept 2019. You’ve been single for a few years before meeting her and she left her husband a year before meeting you, a marriage that was “horrible for her”, yet to go through divorce proceedings. The two of you were not looking for a relationship when you met, but the two of you “hit it off immediately… there was a genuine bond immediately”, and you became inseparable, on the phone, online, and in person, having dinner at each other’s homes, hiking and going to the gym together, being very affectionate with each other, and “there was no sex”.

At one point, “she panicked, got severe anxiety about it all and suddenly it was over before it ever began”. She told you that “she’s happy with friends but a relationship is out of the question”.  The two of you then continued “somewhat of a friendship” in which she “found a way to bury her feelings, build some walls and continued on”, but you didn’t bury your feelings, didn’t build walls and therefore your “feelings for her are so strong”, and you are heartbroken.

You asked: “Do I move on? Do  I hold on? Should I forget her?”-

I don’t think you can forget her, but because she built walls and you didn’t, it is not healthy for you to continue this “somewhat of a friendship” because it keeps your heartbreak fresh. Better end this somewhat of a friendship with her, let her know that if she changes her mind, to contact you if and when that happens, and maybe you will be available to her at that time. Maybe not.

And then move on, having no contact with her at all.

anita