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I need some help please my friends.

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  • #341750
    Nath
    Participant

    Hi everyone.

     

    Hi everyone.

     

    I’ll try and keep this short as I can.  It is however very complex. So I met this girl, beautiful girl around six months ago. We hit it off immediately and had a fantastic connection. We pretty much became inseparable, whether it was by phone texting, phone calls, a lot of Facebook Messenger . We share so many of the same interests, and there was a genuine bond immediately. The one thing that we both have in common is that we were not looking for a relationship at all. I’ve been single for quite a few years, she had only left her husband are year ago and it still yet to go through divorce  Proceedings etc. Something happens between us which ignited something more than friendship. We both discussed it and realise that we felt more than friendship for each other. As time went on I must say we were extremely happy. But then something happened, and she panicked,  got severe anxiety about it all and suddenly it was over before it even began. Yes we were intimate with each other, there was no sex, but we were very affectionate. So one minute everything look like it was going great and two days later it was over. We have continued somewhat of a friendship. I am I wisdom I’m quite aware ,  that she cares me a hell of a lot, as I do her but the idea of a relationship for her right now it’s just not gonna happen. It scares her and obviously she still has a hell of a lot to deal with. I also want to point out that her previous relationship was horrible for her, she carries a lot of baggage and it has  really mess with her mentally. So here we have two people that do love each other and care for each other are very close have an extreme amount in common and have been quite dependent on each other, suddenly in a place where she told me she’s happy with friends but a relationship is out of the question. Where I’m stuck here people, is my feelings for her  are so strong, but I’m not sure I can go back to just being friends like we were. She on the other hand has found a way to bury her feelings, build some walls and continue on. I’m not gonna lie this is heartbreaking for me. So I’m a bit stuck at what to do. I don’t think I’m kidding myself to believe that  there is something absolutely unique and special between us. I’m not being naive by saying that. But it seems the timing is out she’s just not ready. Would any of you please be kind enough to help me to guide me and maybe give me some advice at what steps I need to take. Do I move on? Do I hold on? Should I forget her? I’m totally confused. Thank you so much for your help guys and girls I do hope you can point me in a positive direction.And maybe help guide me to a happy ending here.

    #341822
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Nath:

    “We pretty much became inseparable, whether is was by phone texting, phone calls, a lot of Facebook Messenger”-

    – did you ever meet her in-person, and if you did, how many times did you meet her/ how long did you spend time with her in-person?

    anita

    #342730
    Nath
    Participant

    Hi Anita. Yes we have met many many times. As I mentioned we have been affectionate. We go to each other’s homes for dinner. We go hiking together. We go to the gym together.

    So yes we have spent a lot of time together.

    #342764
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Nath:

    You shared that you met a woman six months ago, about Sept 2019. You’ve been single for a few years before meeting her and she left her husband a year before meeting you, a marriage that was “horrible for her”, yet to go through divorce proceedings. The two of you were not looking for a relationship when you met, but the two of you “hit it off immediately… there was a genuine bond immediately”, and you became inseparable, on the phone, online, and in person, having dinner at each other’s homes, hiking and going to the gym together, being very affectionate with each other, and “there was no sex”.

    At one point, “she panicked, got severe anxiety about it all and suddenly it was over before it ever began”. She told you that “she’s happy with friends but a relationship is out of the question”.  The two of you then continued “somewhat of a friendship” in which she “found a way to bury her feelings, build some walls and continued on”, but you didn’t bury your feelings, didn’t build walls and therefore your “feelings for her are so strong”, and you are heartbroken.

    You asked: “Do I move on? Do  I hold on? Should I forget her?”-

    I don’t think you can forget her, but because she built walls and you didn’t, it is not healthy for you to continue this “somewhat of a friendship” because it keeps your heartbreak fresh. Better end this somewhat of a friendship with her, let her know that if she changes her mind, to contact you if and when that happens, and maybe you will be available to her at that time. Maybe not.

    And then move on, having no contact with her at all.

    anita

     

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