Anita,

thank you for the advice. I will continue to try to end contact with her. I want to end contact with her so badly. I feel that it would help me grow. I want to replace her with people who better me. However, it seems so difficult. Going back to my body dysmorphia, I feel like my nose holds me back so much. I look at people who are happy and they all have perfect noses. I feel like my nose keeps me from being attractive. It makes me feel inferior. It makes me feel afraid to put myself out there because 1) I dislike myself and 2) I feel like others will judge me for the things I dislike about myself. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I want to be confident and happy. My anxiety over my nose has gotten so much better than before, but it’s still there. And it still makes me feel ugly.

it hurts me because I look in the mirror and think, ”she is crazy for thinking my nose is big. It’s small” but then I think about it and I’m like “I think I’m just blind. I can’t ignore that it’s not perfect. People probably think my nose is big and I’m the only one who thinks it’s not”

People in this world are super critical. How don’t I know they’re not judging me? My therapist tells me to trust my gut, and my gut told me that my nose isn’t bad (because I didn’t care about my nose for years. I never thought it took away from my beauty). However, now my gut is telling me my nose is bad. Or just that my face is bad. Who can I trust? The old me or the new me? I hate this feeling 🙁

I haven’t mentioned much about this, but I’ve been somewhat losing feelings for my boyfriend. I still love him so I’m trying to work it out, but I noticed I was losing feelings when I was attracted to other people. I was crushing on other people.

This may sound wrong or like cheating, but it was just a thought so I don’t want to take it seriously. I was just thinking about this guy that I really think is attractive because he’s really mature and into self growth (again, just a thought. I know it sounds wrong to think that because I have a boyfriend, but I would never act on that thought). I was imagining myself with a guy like him, but then I saw he was following this girl I know on Instagram. The girl is really pretty and I feel like she is way prettier than me, so I was sad. Because I thought to myself “who am I kidding? Why am I imagining myself with a guy like him. He is into girls like that, not me” and I felt really sad. Then I was like, “it’s because of my nose. If my nose was smaller and fixed, I would be as pretty as that girl”

does that make sense? I’m not trying to cheat on my boyfriend but I was just thinking about what it would be like to date that kind of guy. Then I felt insecure because I felt I’m not good enough for it. But I don’t want to feel that way. I want to be confident and feel that I can date whoever I want.

• This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by Katie.