Dear kiwiboy0897:

Thank you for wishing me well, I wish you well back!

Let me know how the don’t-scratch-the-itch method works for you (it will be difficult and take time and persistence).

“there is no real reason for me to be hurt. If anything, my partner did everything in a responsible and loyal way”- in my experience, we as adults are hurting still for what happened- or didn’t happen- in our childhoods. When a hurt is deep and is not resolved during those Formative Years of childhood, the hurt is Formed in our brain and it gets activated in our adult lives. For example, if you had a sibling and any one of your parents clearly and repeatedly preferred your sibling, not correcting this behavior, that hurt as a child was formed in your brain (recorded there), and it got activated in the context of the current situation.

“Do you have any advice on how I shouldn’t recognize this as a form of pain..?”- I think you should recognize it as a form of pain, only look for its origin, like I suggested- in your childhood. I gave you an example, above. Think of what happened in your childhood that may explain this hurt, and let me know, will you?

anita