Hi Anita,

If I’m honest, when I started this blog post, I didn’t think I would encounter such help. I understood that I had underlying fears and issues I needed to address and conquer, so I sincerely thank you for guiding me in this whole process and journey thus far. But in reply to you:

1. He is a very wonderful person, and I am grateful and humbled to have him in my life. I won’t give up on him! I agree with what you’ve said, and it makes lots of sense. Very relatable. Reading that, I have begun to understand that he is a loveable, wonderful and great human being and partner. He is not perfect, yet his imperfection makes him perfect to me in his own way. And his imperfection makes him who he is, and I am satisfied and content with who he is, so I am content with that. Thank you for giving me this newfound reality and perspective!

2. Yes, that’s a good observation. If anything, I have escalated and intensified the thought process so much more than the reality was. I thought ‘worst case scenario,’ and thought that if I adapted and thought about that, then the reality of the situation (which actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it was in hindsight) wouldn’t be as intense. An example to explain this would be my partner would say something like “I admire Steve’s ambition,” and in my head I would hear something like (or intensify it as something like) “I am falling in love with Steve’s personality,” and I think it does have something to do with the embers that you have explained. The itch analogy made a lot of sense to me, and this one you have also discussed makes a lot of sense as well. I am glad I am learning more about myself and my patterns through your observations. If I’m honest, when you explain how it happens (how the embers catch fire), that is exactly the process in my head. I always thought that if I added more thought, then it’d go away. I didn’t truly realise to achieve this was to in fact do the opposite. Also, thank you for giving me some methods to stop adding more thoughts!

3. I will do my best to repost what I shared. I know you usually get off the computer soon (or in a few hours), and it’s morning where I am now, so I will probably be back later tonight to do this. I have some university assignments I need to complete today, but I think this exercise will be very helpful.

Thank you for all the time and effort you have put towards these forums for my sake and for my wellbeing. I want you to know and understand that I truly and sincerely am so grateful, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continuous discussion with me.

Can’t wait to hear from you again!

With love,

kiwiboy0897