Dear Pedro:

I think that the fear in the core of your anxiety is not about whether you love your girlfriend or not. Fear has a way of attaching itself to where it doesn’t belong. For example, when you were a child, and saw your mother arguing with your father, you were probably afraid at the time. And if they argued often, you were often afraid. Finally, that fear stayed in you permanently, as anxiety. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t feel it, but it’s always there.

Fast forward, your fear attached itself to the question of loving your girlfriend or not. But that’s not where your fear belongs, or said differently, that’s not what your fear is about. It is about your parents arguing.

I will soon be away from the computer for a few hours. If you want, tell me more about your experience as a child, at home, with your parents. When I return, I will reply to you further.

anita