Hey all.

Yep, all good here, no issues with symptoms or anything like that. Just getting used to being back in the UK and dealing with everything.  It’s actually not that different for us since we’re used to being together 24/7 from traveling for long periods and since I retired we’ve figured out a decent ‘at home’ routine anyway. Obviously not being able to physically visit people and places is a huge restriction but I understand why we’re all doing it and just get on with making the most of our time with what we can do here, one day at a time.  I tried signing up for volunteering now that we’re past the 7 day wait post travel – but it’s all full! So have to wait a couple of weeks until they are ready to take on more people.

@ Genie. Yeah – give up the news feeds whilst you know they make you anxious! It can be helpful to seek out ones which aren’t quite so emotionally-driven as there’s an awful lot of unhelpful reporting going on and it can be easy to get overwhelmed if you have that kind of disposition. We can all freak out at times so it’s important to know how to ground yourself again. It’s really good to hear Jay’s helping you with that and as importantly you’re helping him. Cool.

@Adelaide. The downside of more time eh! Brains sometimes love nothing more than a good wallow, especially when they’re feeling down already, let’s pile on some unhelpful self-torture of wishful thinking and denying reality – awesome?! The best bit is I know you understand that’s what happening and that it isn’t real – being able to stop that downwards spiral is a big step towards ensuring that when triggered they don’t last as long or as deep as they used to.  Absolutely, when you feel those triggers starting, reach out and connect to people. Get outside for your daily fresh air, do something constructive, anything really. It’s always when motivation is at it’s lowest when it’ll have the biggest impact. Get over the inertia and feel the energy come back.

@CB. Yeah, I know it hurts. Adapting to your new reality of a completely different life is tough enough after 27 years. The inner strength takes a while to come, longer for some than others – hugely dependent on how co-dependent the relationship was and your level of self-esteem. After that long it’s tough to know who you are as a person since you are so used to being defined by your role as wife, parent, carer etc. It’s one of the big reasons relationships often struggle at the mid-life stage – it’s a big changing point for most couples and you either grow into it together or grow apart and want different things.  It’s painful to accept the reality that the old life has gone and all your expectations of what the rest of your life was going to be like are going to have to change. You can’t change his mind but you can change yours and your perception of yourself and your new future life. Basics first, home, money, friends, family, health etc. Baby steps remember. There’s lots of ways to reach out and connect during these tough times – like for Adelaide, when you are feeling lowest – reach out. Either online, here or otherwise, or to people you know.  A lot of people are struggling with loneliness right now and there’s a lot of help and willing volunteers to listen. Including here 🙂

@Shelby. I know you are avoiding being online but it’d be good to know you got through your test ok or not and how you are doing in your family. I hope it’s all ok as can be.

@Kkaxo. Just saying hi and hoping likewise all goes as well as it can in London right now. Are you still able to move in with your sister or has that been impacted by the quarantine restrictions on house moves?

@ Sammy. I hope you continue to post here or in your own thread. You are going through tough times and I know from my own experience all support helps.

@Becca – You know just from posting here that what you are living with isn’t right – I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to write in after so many years of living like that. I really hope you do reach out for help, here or wherever you are most comfortable with.

Take care all & reach out.