@Doseofreality. First, love the user name, nice.  You won’t be surprised that I don’t disagree with much of what you say and I understand your intention to help this way.   It is absolutely fundamentally our lives to own and our choices are what defines us and our future. My take – it’s a balance – as is everything in life I’ve found. There’s a time to push and there’s a time to recoup. A time to take more risks and push yourself and times it’s ok to want support and reassurance.  As you get older and hopefully wiser, you get better at being honest with yourself about what is the best response, the best choice for you. In my experience it’s usually the one that feels most uncomfortable.

Helping people through situations that are painful to them – however much we may or may not consider their problems truly painful in the greater scheme of things – likewise requires a balance. A time to push & a time to support. It is pretty much useless to tell people to “snap out of it” if they are stuck in a downwards spiral but a healthy kick up the proverbial when you know they have enough strength to deal with it is way more useful than more sympathy. It’s the ability to understand enough about the person to be able to tell the difference and understand which approach is going to truly help that person – that’s what makes a good friend or therapist in my eyes.

This forum likewise tries to provide both – so all inputs appreciated and voices like yours will be helpful. I hope you continue to contribute.