Hi Tee,

I think it’s really, really important to sort of “run your own race” when it comes to relationships and not pay any attention to what other couples are doing or what their relationships are like, because everyone has different situations. It might be easier for those couples to get together. Perhaps some of them live together. Maybe some have lighter schedules or schedules that match up well enough that they can hang out more often. There are just so many variables that no two couples will have the same relationship.

If you can sort of get to the point where you’re more understanding of who your boyfriend is and how he responds to things and manages feelings and shows love, and if that understanding can make you feel better overall, then it doesn’t even matter what’s “normal” with other relationships, because understanding can make happiness normal in your own relationship, even if it appears different from others.

I think it’s also important that you continue to share with him how you feel or tell him the things you would like him to do, but just don’t have any expectations about how he will or should respond when you tell him those things. It’s also okay to decide that this situation isn’t for you and you’d rather find someone who can interact with you more, but just understand that you may end up in the same situation with someone less compatible because a lot of guys aren’t big texters or phone talkers, and I really think this might just be sort of a bump you two have to get over until you’re able to live together and interact in person every day.