Dear anita,

Thank you, you are very kind.

About her tendency to go quiet : Well, I have noticed this tendency of hers in person too, though not always. I’ve asked her about it and she said that she used to say things when she was bothered that had hurt people and that she later regretted. So she figured this was a way to not cause unnecessary pain by saying things in the heat of the moment. I view this tendency as a good thing in general, and I do that too. But, given the LDR situation we found ourselves in, it becomes important to not prolong these quiet periods and communicate, since not doing so causes unnecessary pain too, defeating the purpose of being quiet.

In Jan 2019, when I told her that she was my favorite person over a text, she said ‘thank you’ and that ‘this would be high on the list of her personal accomplishments’. I figured that was a no from her. But in hindsight, the mistake I made was not asking her explicitly what she meant by that and then not taking it further if my interpretation had been right.

I am only guessing as to what her motive might have been when she asked me to move to the mountains. Since she had already told me she felt we didn’t spend enough time together (as a couple) for her to be sure, I think I should have gone the next step and asked her what she thought would have happened had I done so. I think that was a mistake on my part.

I don’t want to portray her as a person who simply led me on and wasn’t forthright. I don’t believe that at all. She is, as I said earlier – kind, hard working, resourceful, lives sustainably and very beautiful. I think the truth may lie closer to what you said in an other thread about a LDR :

I think that for most people, a long distance relationship is a lost cause because people .. need people in their presence, not far, far away. Reads like she enjoyed your company very much when you were in her physical presence, but away from you.. maybe she missed you but was tired of missing you, so she got involved in her daily life and let go of wanting you

You treated her very well, but not enough to make up for the long distance, I am guessing

I feel bad that we could not meet and try to find a way together. It’ll be really sad if we realize later that we gave up something special due to something beyond our control like the corona virus lockdown.

Again, I really appreciate your replies to mine, and to many other threads on this forum. You are doing a lot of good. Do keep up your great work.

-jy