Dear anita,

That’s sad to hear you had to deal with this too. I’m glad you got through this. How was the process?

I understand, I will do that.

About the childhood you asked, there’s one other incident I don’t recall pleasantly often and didn’t mention in any of our conversations before- I was sexually assaulted at the age of around 6 or 7 by a pedophile. That person actually assaulted me for a period of time, but I was never able to talk about it to anyone. But I don’t think it affects me that bad. Except for two occasions when my mum wrongly accused me of incest with my elder brother, for literally no reason at all(it was a product of her anxiety for something I guess), it just brought back the memories of that and I was disgusted with myself for a long time. I sometimes shudder from being physically touched, but it doesn’t feel as traumatic as other memories. About current situation, I don’t know I should associate with this, but since I’ve been talking with that guy regularly, I’ve been self-harming more than ever before. It’s wrong of me to connect it somehow, but yeah; it’s been two months I’ve been taking out a lot of frustration on my body.

I’m sorry if this is a heavy piece to read through

Take care. Bless you