Dear Rose:

Maybe his daughter’s mother was not the abusive one (“She is abusive to him and toxic”), maybe he was, and she wasn’t. Maybe they were both abusive and toxic.

When you asked him to stop talking about her while visiting your family, and he “blew up on (you)”- that’s quite .. toxic, isn’t it.

And then you saw a photo of him and her laying in the middle of the floor of your basement, (and there was an open box with love letter)- this means he took the photo out of a box, looking at it while the two of you were living together. This and the fact that he talked about her so much during a visit to your family means that he has some strong feelings about her, even if it’s mostly rage, that’s not a good indicator in regard to his mental health/ him being able to have a healthy relationship with you.

He.. “also blown up and sent men messages” .. threatening them (?) to stop talking to you on social media- well, based on this account, I agree with you: “he is shady”, very shady, I say. Good thing he is gone from your life, keep it this way!

I feel sorry for his daughter. I wonder if you ever met his daughter’s mother?

anita