Dear Sky:

You are welcome. You are scared of your thoughts and your feelings, as if these things are dangerous, but there is no danger in you feeling anything,  and there is no danger in you not feeling anything.

There is no danger in you thinking anything either. What goes on in your brain (thoughts and feelings) is your private business. You don’t owe anyone to think or feel any certain way; no need to confess to anyone because nobody has the right to know what goes on in between your ears!

All that matters in your relationships with your girlfriend and with other people is your behavior: what you choose to say and do.

Regarding your depression state, do not be alarmed, lots of people are depressed, you are not alone. What you can do is relax best you can (stop scaring yourself!), distract (a walk outside, some exercise, a hot or cold shower, your favorite music, etc.), try a guided meditation to relax, and post here anytime, expressing your thoughts and feelings. Not so to confess, and not because I have the right to know, but because it can help you feel less alone, and no longer overwhelmed.

When you post, I will reply (when online, which is often, throughout the day).

anita