Dear Karene:

Welcome back. When you posted last, Jan 3 this year, there were wildfires going on in Australia, where you live. Little did we now that a wild virus was already spreading at the time, about to take over the world  two months later.

Russel (we referred to him previously as Nick) has been a very important person in your life for years. He has been the only person with whom you felt closeness: “it’s been a very close relationship.. he knows me more than anyone”.

We humans are very much Social animals, and Russel has been your Social, (or as your therapist referred to him, your Familiar). When we are isolated for a long time, we feel dead; when we socialize again, we feel alive: “I felt alive and had someone to share things with”.

You know that Russel loves you (“He loves me”), and you know that he “has brain issues that prevent him from being able to plan or foresee outcomes in his mind”, that his bad choices are “all impulse”, and therefore, you  know that he cannot live independently. He is currently living in his mother’s home, relying on government money that he misuses for buying drugs that exacerbate his psychosis. And so, you understand his limitations and you don’t take his sickness and dysfunction personally.

“I crave connection. I want to talk to him and tell him about my own things like normal and hear his stuff”- you need contact with him, otherwise you feel terribly alone. If he moves with his mother 400 km, you will see him rarely, if at all, even after the pandemic is over. But even though he still lives close by, you can’t see him/ communicate with him online,  because his psychosis is more pronounced, having been made worse by his meth drug use.

In a moment of clarity, he told you, “that he can’t stay here and that he loves me but he can’t because of schizophrenia”- he can’t stay in your area if his mother will be moving 400 km away, he can’t rent or buy a place and live independently.

One problem you currently have in regard to Russel is that he uses meth which exacerbates his psychosis and when that happens, the connection with him suffers a lot. A second problem is that he may be moving 400 km away.

* Maybe his mother will not be moving- it takes a lot of time and effort to move, as well as money. Having two adult children who suffer from psychosis and who use meth, may not leave her enough energy to arrange for a move.

If his mother moves away, the only way for you to keep Russel close by is if you make the practical arrangements for him to live close by,  rent him a place, and check on him every day, to see that he is okay.

“Now that he’s likely moving and now that he has psychosis again.. it left me feeling like I used to, very alone”-

– you are welcome to post here anytime, and when you do, I will respond to you. This is one online connection that is available to you. Best you can, enjoy interacting with the animals on your property. As you probably know, pets can provide a lot of comfort. Dogs in particular are affectionate and interactive. Regarding Russel, his meth use is out of your control, and his mother’s choices of where to live is also out of your control. If you can’t arrange for Russel to live close by the time his mother moves him away, then there is nothing for you to do, but wait and hope for the best.

anita