Dear MG03:

When I mentioned his parents’ support, I didn’t mean their support in terms of you, that is, I didn’t think he will feel comfortable to talk with them about you. What I meant by their support, is that he feels a sense  of safety having them in his life, knowing that they approve of his choice to  marry the woman they approve of. So he has that support from them.

They are his parents. Part of him will always be the boy who wants his parents’ approval and support. His way of maintaining that support has been to marry another woman, not you.

And so, as is, he gets his parents same-old-same-old support, and he gets your support, both. He eats the cake and has it too, as the saying goes.

I am not saying that he is happy, but he made his choices best he could so to live the best life he can imagine: maintaining his parents’ support and getting extra support on the side, which is you.

I suggest that you keep your job but do not meet him outside the job, and that you otherwise have no physical intimacy with him. What  do you think of what I wrote and of my suggestion?

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by .