Hey both!

@genie Thanks for your nice feedback on my writing. I’m glad you find it helpful! Thanks so much for the cheerleading and support! Re “cutting the cord”, the latest interactions I’ve had with both my ex and flirty acquaintance has been on Twitter which is public anyway. I’ve committed to myself that I’ll only interact with them on public platforms now, if at all, as they’ll be able to see what I say regardless – but you’re right there’s always a risk of temptation. I think now that I see how unfulfilling the relationship with my ex was, from an objective perspective, it’s unlikely. Like you say, progress! 🙂

I think Michelle has excellent advice re Jay coming to stay with you. Let us know what you decide! I am very happy to hear that you too have moved on and recognised you deserve a life-giving relationship! I do think you guys should consider a series of iso-dates if you don’t end up together in quarantine; amazing how creative one can get!

@Michelle, your celebrations sound lovely! And reading about you planning your next adventures made me smile. Must be extra sweet to do so knowing you have the all clear health wise!

It’s reassuring that you can relate to the ‘rules’ thing as I do feel a bit ridiculous! And I think you’re right about it being a need to get things ‘right’. What I am learning too is that different people of course react differently – so reminding myself that just because my ex did or didn’t do something doesn’t mean this person will do the same makes me less afraid to try things out.

Our next iso-date we are thinking we will eat ice cream in our pajamas and watch something together again. What makes it quite cute is that she got ice cream delivered to my house (I knew she was getting something delivered but wasn’t sure what), so we will be eating matching ice cream! I also ordered her some flower shaped cookies because it’s the closest thing I can find to flowers at the moment. I don’t think she’s got them yet though.Who says romance isn’t possible long distance… 🙂

Re resilience and humour, yep humour is my go-to, too! I haven’t seen my therapist in awhile but when I am talking about my anxieties, or a particular thought pattern of mine, she has said to me a few times “you’re laughing about this?” And I say “yes because it is so typical of me!” so yep it does really help to have a laugh at our own expense. I have the resilient feeling you describe  in other areas of my life but it’s fair to say that because I am so inexperienced with romantic relationships, I have a lot of work to do to build it in this aspect. However as you say, the more I do or don’t do things the more confident I feel so I guess I just have to keep at it.

Thanks both for your kind words about my friend’s/Flatmate’s suicide. I feel like therapy has helped me in terms of just being ok with sitting in the sadness of it all whenever I need to. And being ok with the fact that even if other people in my life don’t acknowledge the impact of it on me (e.g my parents, whose way of dealing with hard things is to minimise them), I can acknowledge it myself.

Sheesh, I do feel I have put a lot of work into some heavy stuff the last six months or so. Nice to reap some benefits from it. Thanks for always being a great sounding board! Take care! X