Dear Dharmaseed,

I’m living in south east asia, and the average height here is not that tall. For boys it’s 5’7 and i’m still below it. I’m really really trying to accept myself here, but i dont think i can. It’s just that i cant accept the fact that i’m the shortest among my group of friends. Most people here always describe me as “short”, like in indirect way. Like when one of my best friend, he’s studying abroad and tell them about his best friend which is me, when his friend’s ask how do i look like.. he describe me as “the short funny guy”. I can’t accept the fact that i’m always labeled as the short one, even when they are not mocking me… but i’m always being describe as short. If at least i’m 5’6 im not that far from average, but i’m 2 inches above it and its too far already. Average girl’s height here is my height which is 5’5.

I dont know if im being ungrateful or what, it’s just that i still can’t accept that there is something which is “height” that i’ll always gonna be the last among my friends, and i can’t change it ever in my life. Like i feel i wanna escape reality that i can’t accept that im the shortest boy. Even some of my friend’s who used to be the same height as me when we were 18 now he is 5’6, and i still dont know why i dont grow even an inch since 17. Even most of my friend’s who all are taller than me, their parents are shorter than them and they still grow, whereas my dad is 5’6 and i’m shorter than me, i dont understand why this is happening to me. I even feel that i can’t forgive god for this unfairness, as i didnt ask to be this hard headed for not wanting to be the “last” among my friends, i have this personality since i was a kid. Like i didnt ask for that kind of personality, and still i got 5’5.

This is what’s in my thought right now….