Dear Greed4UrLove:

I am sorry to read that your previous partner of eight years was emotionally abusive towards you for the better part of that time.

I am also sorry to read that your most recent partner has young children who are suffering because of decisions made by their mother to place her sexuality above their well-being. It seems to me that she rushed through a separation and through introducing a new lover to her children too soon, having her new lover over overnight, if I understand correctly.

Seems to me that she did everything too soon, rushing through.

I suggest that when you do  communicate with her next, as you listen to her, keep  in mind that she is not exactly in her right mind at this time in her life, so she will continue to say contradictory things. Don’t expect her to be consistent. Don’t expect her to know what she wants, or what is right for her.

What she needs is someone level headed in her life, someone stable, to figuratively hold her hand as she walks on unstable ground, so that she is less afraid, feels less alone and safer.

If you have it in you to provide her that kind of support, to hold her hand while you receive less than you give, then you may want to be that for her. And think of her children’s well-being, think of what is better for them.

anita