Dear Anita,

Thank you. for your help and insight. I know that bad things happen to good people. You are right – it as an age old dilemma. It’s still hard for me to accept that people can get away with hurting others. Like I wrote above, I believe that the way we treat others comes back to us eventually. I believe that if the roles had been reversed and he was messaging me and writing expressions of love and apologies and I had ignored him, I don’t think I would have turned around and had the most blissful, happy, perfect marriage just handed to me. There would have been consequences. If anything my conscience would have gotten to me.

Sometimes I struggle with, “Well, maybe I really am bad and deserved what happened” and then I sit here and replay things over and over to try see what I did. I try to find a reason justifying him treating me like I don’t exist, like I don’t matter. It is a never ending cycle.