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Dear Al:
You are welcome and thank you for your expressed appreciation.
“how do we attack this parasite in my mind?”
I wouldn’t call it parasite, but a habit of the mind, having a habit established in your brain where you look elsewhere for that emotional intensity (sitting in front of the computer growing up, dreaming about that elsewhere and then being there, Australia).
What’s next is breaking this mental habit and replacing it with a new habit, doing the two things simultaneously.
Certain guided meditations and mindfulness exercises are the ways to break mental habits and establish new ones. Do you have experience in guided meditations and Mindfulness, any experience with yoga or tai-chi?
anita