Dear Yours:

“the fear of exposing myself too much is huge.. what if he thinks its too much?”- don’t share too much, share some. Share some of your thoughts and feelings honestly and in a way that is not dramatic, and it will be okay.

“I am trying to seem like this girl who has everything together and is completely fulfilled with her life as it is. not talking about the things that are maybe not so perfect in my life”- you are trying to seem like a .. superhuman. That may discourage him to share with you when he doesn’t have it all together, and which is not perfect in his life.

“I am always ready to meet when he proposes”- understandable to me, because you like him so much.

“I do not take a lot ..  initiative to make plans in case he rejects it”- if you take some initiative (vs. a lot), that’s good enough. If you took no initiative so far, initiate one meeting with him- it will be a good practice for you.

“I get down and a bit anxious if he moves our date or does not text me for an extensive period of time.. I just become quite obsessive and spend a lot of time thinking about the relationship”- no way to fix this anytime soon (it takes many months and years to lower and resolve anxiety on an ongoing basis), but you can manage this anxiety by taking a fast walk outdoors when anxious, and/ or a hot bath- these things help a lot!

Also, guided meditations and mindfulness exercises will help. I came across a website providing these, called headspace. com.

“How can I work on this so that this time I can do things differently?”- when you feel a relief from your anxiety and obsessive thinking, enjoy the break and expect the anxiety and obsessive thinking to resume, so that you don’t get alarmed when it’s back. There is no quick permanent solution, it is about managing anxiety, using tools (ex.: a fast walk, a hot bath, a guided meditation, yoga, listening to music) whenever you start feeling the anxiety rising, and long term: working toward healing by exploring the origin of your anxiety.

Did we discuss the origin of your anxiety?

anita