Dear Isabelle:

I didn’t know it is Mothers’ Day, today: Happy Mother’s Day to you!

(I am not a mother).

“Why do I still try.. to bring her joy?”- because you always have tried, so you keep trying.

“somehow, it makes me feel good to put a smile on her face”- I know the feeling. It is like a drug that you want more of, that good feeling.

It made me feel that I had some power in that powerless reality, like I had a mission, a purpose, a hope to reach that top of the mountain, eventually. It is the hope and love of a little girl that doesn’t die unless intentionally (and with hard work and lots of time) put to an end.

The problem with continuing that mission, is the high cost to you, and that cost is in this sentence in your most recent post: “I still do not know what is a healthy relationship”.

(Congrats for sending P the email you sent him!)

anita